Lost Friend

We all heard of loosing our friends for some reason or another. Our friends that we loose can be friends from high school, our parents, grandparents, brother/sister, boy/girlfriend and yes our spouse. Also our friends can be animals to us, such as a dog, cat, birt, etc., that has ben in the family for several years. When we loose a friend, we loose them do to death or loosing them by not keeping in touch with them. But in all my life, I have never heard of loosing a friend, because of one small mistake that was made. When I get into this story, I hope most of my friends will understand why I am letting this out and that what one of my friends did to me was a bit unfair. Also, if any of my other friends might understand this message, it would be nice for some of you to make comments back and another friend to help me out by trying to talk to this person who was unfair to me. Well, here it goes and hopefully it will make sense!! Names will be left out, for protection and to explain this story to a few of my friends.

On Monday night 2/13/13 to Tuesday morning 2/14/12, about 12:47 am, I was up a bit late, not feeling very well and not sleeping very well. I decided to send out messages on FB and by e-mail to let a few of my friends on how I was doing and what has been happening with me. Some of my friends don't have FB, so e-mail was one of the options that I went with for a while. Now with me being up so late, there are times I will say something that comes out wrong or I will send the wrong message out. (Curse me for staying up late and writing so late). I guess when one is tired and not feeling very good, your mind will not think straight at all. In one of my messages, I mention that I have certain feelings, but when I was pouring out my feelings to one of my friends, I accidently sent the message to the wrong FB friend. I didn't realize that I sent the wrong message to my FB friend, when the next morning my FB friend wrote to me and told me that I was going to be blocked from his FB page. I tried apologizing and explaining to him that the message was an accident and my feelings was meant for someone else. But my FB friend would not let me talk it out or let me explain what really happened. I even tried sending e-mails and letters explaining and that I thought that it was unfair to block me and not reading most of my letters and e-mails at all. As a result of my FB friend blocking me and wanting to call off the friendship, I spent the weekend crying my eyes out. I really tried apologizing for my mistake and asking for forgiveness and asking my FB friend to unblock me, re-add me back on as a friend, but still refused. I did admit to who I thought was my FB friend that I made a mistake and that I sent the wrong message out me explaining, but as said before my friend still refused.

I really would like my friend back, but because this friend does not want to have any contact with me at all and I cannot contact this friend anymore, I cannot talk to my friend or tell how I felt, that my friend was unfair to me. I don't know if this blog makes any sense at all. Right because of what my friend did to me, I feel hurt and pain. Maybe, I can have another FB friend of mine who I keep in constant contact with by FB and e-mail to send this message to the friend that blocked me. I need the help, I want my friend back and I need to talk to my FB friend. I want this friend to know that what I did, I did not mean it at all and it was really a mistake. Also, I want my friend to know that if the situation was reverse, I would never block my friend and I would allow an explaintion for what was said.

My eyes are working very well, but in my mind I am typing this blog blind and having a hard time in trying make some sense out of this blog. I am sorry if this is not making sense, but I cannot put names in this story. If there was another way, I would rewrite this blog and have it make sense, but there is not another way for me to really explain.

Well, if I left some things out, I am sorry and please forgive me. The picture, I thought was a good one, for it does match my title.

Love Your Friend,

Sara M. M.

The starting of a Holiday Season!

Normally, I usually have a well thought out writing for my blog. But do to the fact that I am running out of time, I should just flow with this one for today is November 1, 2011. Hard to believe that we have this month and next month before we see another year come to an end and getting ourselves ready to start another year. About two or three years ago I started a project with my blog, I still continue with that project even if noone has time to respond back or make any comments at all. It would be nice for some of my friends to respond back or make comments to some of my blogs. I am trying to get the holiday season going by doing writings in my blog everyday. I will switch pictures off and on using pictures of Our dog Stubby and our cat Lucky. The picture you will see is Stubby and Lucky; Stubby is an inheritance dog, was Grandma Radford's (Frank's grandmother) dog. Apparently Grandma Radford is not allowed to have Stubby anymore, because Grandma Radford is unable to handle Stubby. For a while Stubyy was with Frank's parents for a while, but that did not work out, which also has a story behind that, but will not mention it. So we ended up with Stubby and he has been a blessing to our family. Stubby is a Boston Terrier (Spelling) full breed, he is about 8 to 9 years old and Frank and I love him very much. He gets along with our cat Lucky who we have had for a while, I actually have had Lucky two years before Frank and I married. Lucky is 16 years old, he does now have Kidney disease, but I for see Lucky living a little bit longer, hopefully up to about 20 to 23 years old. Some would say that we have many things to be Thankful, for being that this month is Thanksgiving and we should find many things to be Thankful. As of right now, I want to say that I don't have a lot of things to be Thankful for this year, because I sometimes feel that a few items were taken away from me and I have been feeling very depressed and disconnected. Where the depression is coming from or how that is going on is unknown, there are a number of reasons for the depression, some could be health related or something else. A part of me will not discuss that for awhile. The disconnected, even though I have two pets, I don't have children, I miss my friends and family in New Mexico and even more so, because I now don't have any way to get back home to see them. Sure, I do have some friends here in Utah, but they don't take the time to come see me, call me, write to me or even send me a message back on FB, my friends here in Utah is too, too busy. I know they have jobs, school and a life, but it would be nice for them to aknowledge that I am alive and every once in a while to at least call me, write to me or even send me a message back on FB or even come see me sometimes. I try to invite them over for dinner, but the excuse I get sometimes, I am busy with school and I know for sure that finals starts in December. I guess, there is something that I am Thankful for and that is having two wonderful pets a cat and a dog, especially when they too act like children. I am also Thankful for my husband, in spite sometimes he has a lazy side around the apartment, he is really good to me and tries his best to bring in some income, even if it is not much. Well, again, I usually have this well thought out, but I just had to go with it. If I have any out of place words or sentence and misspelled words than I apologize for it. I will switch between Thanskgiving pictures and pictures of Stubby and Lucky. Oh, I forgot to mention, my cat Lucky is pure white with blue eyes and Stubby is Black and White. Have to love them both.

Enjoy reading.

Love,
Sara Marie McMurdie (Sara M. M.)

What a Week!!

This entry to my blog should have gone out weeks ago, but somehow, I felt like that the events that was happening was not ending yet. You will understand when I finish this entry and post it to my blog.

What a week for Frank and I. I thought that if I write about what or how Frank and I enjoyed our week, it might be interesting to read. Starting from Sunday to end on Saturday, but there again, as mention before, I don’t think it really ended with the week.

First, our week started off with nothing planned and nothing to do, but it turned out that we actually had something to do, especially with some events that was on the spur of the moment.

July 3, 2011: Our church has 3 different wards, and our ward goes to church from 1pm-4pm. For those who know the LDS church really well, the wards have a 3 hour block. Frank and I ended up being late to church, so needless to say, we missed sacrament meeting. But sacrament was pretty much fast and testimonies, so we did not miss much there. However, we did make it to the last two meetings of Sunday school, Relief Society for me and Priesthood for Frank. Frank and I are attending a family relations class which will be awesome. The class just got started, so it will be hard to explain right now. As the Sundays progress, I might explain what we have learned in the class.

July 4, 2011: Today started off really good. When Frank and I woke up, we had a pretty good breakfast, waffles, one egg, and homemade hash browns, with turkey sausage, red & green bell peppers and onions cooked with the hash browns. After Frank and I ate breakfast, we finished getting ready and went to watch the Layton July 4th, parade at 10 am. We decided to ditch the family for the day and just have it to ourselves. After the parade we went home and rested for a while and finished getting everything ready for a picnic. We went to the Layton Park, which was by the library. (The park has ducks and geese swimming in a lake or pond.) It’s a real nice park, because it also has a swimming pool and an Amp theater for concerts and activities. After we ate some food we waited a couple of hours, just sat around and did some reading, we took most of our things back to our car and instead of going home we stayed at the park and walked around. About 8pm their was concert happening, don’t remember the name, but it was an Orchestra band type, that played different music from movies; such as; Star Wars, Twilight Saga, Harry Potter, Phantom of the Opera, and other movies that were recent lately. Hard to remember all of them to name them from the top of the list, afterwards, about 9:45pm, Frank and I decide to go find a place that was close by our car to wait for the fireworks to start. (The fireworks were being set off at the Layton High School Football Field.) The fireworks started at 10pm and they were awesome. Frank and I had a fun day. We needed that time together, plus not to mention most of everything we did was free, did not have to spend a dime at all.

July 5th and 6th: These two days was relatively easy going, however, we found out on July 4th that Frank did receive a phone call from Sam’s Club and was hired. On July 5th Frank went to fill out paperwork and the next two days was orientation for him. Also on July 5th being that we were struggling a bit, we had to get some help from our church. We needed help with food, so we went into Kaysville, Utah, the church store warehouse and picked up our food order. Than afterwards for the rest of the day we spent time relaxing and did some laundry and cleaning our apartment. July 6th, was still an easy day. Frank went to his orientation and I stayed home cleaning the apartment, doing more laundry and reorganizing our dried food storage and trying to reorganize our second bedroom, so it can be used as a work room and not so much as a storage room. However, on this day I went to check the mail and an unsuspected surprise was in the mail. My visiting teachers, not just sent me a birthday card, but for my birthday, I received a $25.00 gift card to Apple Bee’s. I used the card that Wednesday night (July 6th.), mainly because I have not had the chance to clean my kitchen up and have not made dinner yet. Also, I have had the chance to call my niece up and wished her a happy birthday just as well. Two of my niece’s has their birthdays close to mine, Shannon is July 4th and Sarah E., is July 6th. So, I talked with Sarah E., on her birthday. To end the day, Frank and I used my birthday gift card and went to eat at Apple Bee’s.

July 7th, 2011: On this day was time spent running around town by paying bills and digging up information that I needed. I also had to get some items that I could not get at the church store warehouse, but what a way to spend a birthday, doing some type of work. I was out most of the whole day, so my housecleaning/work at home did not get done at all. By the time I was done with running around town, I arrived home around 3pm-3:15pm, just long enough to have about 2 hours before I had to go tl Frank’s parents house for dinner at 5:30pm. In between that time, I received a phone call from my adopted sister Marie. She called about 4pm, and we talked for an hour up to the time for me to go over to Mom and Dad McMurdie’s for dinner. Frank and I headed over for dinner; it was a birthday dinner for me. We had chicken, salad, baked potatoes, dinner rolls and watermelon. For dessert was cheese cake, but since I could not eat cheese cake, my mother-in-law (Mom McMurdie) had a fruit bar for me to eat. The dinner was wonderful and what made it really even special on this day, a few of my friends wished me a Happy Birthday on FaceBook (FB) and my older sister Suzanne called me today to also wish me a Happy Birthday and talked with me for a while.

July 8th, 2011: Today was also a wonderful day, and I think I might have begged for this day, but begging for this day was well worth it. The night before I received a message and a phone call from two of my friends, (Landon and Anna) to meet with them in Salt Lake City at 11:00am, they wanted to do a treat for me, for my birthday. (Will get to the treat soon.), I agreed, so on this day, I was going to drive into Salt Lake City, but I decided to do something and be adventuress. So, to save on Gas, for a round trip ticket for $6.50, I decided to ride the Front Runner. I parked the car at the depot and purchase the ticket and took the Front Runner into Salt Lake City. My friend Landon, came by to pick me up and my treat from Landon and Anna was lunch and a hair cut in which they paid for. I can’t remember the place we ate at for lunch, but I had Salmon and it was delicious. I didn’t get much time with Anna, because she was in a hurry and she had to go back to work, but for the time I had with her was wonderful. Anna; thanks for the card. The rest of the day I spend with Landon, after we ate lunch, Landon took me over to one of his friend’s place, who happens to do hair. The hair stylist name is David and he worked on my hair by cutting it and styling the way I wanted it. That was another birthday treat from Landon and Anna. David did an absolute wonderful job on my hair, now, even though I have to travel into Salt Lake City every two or three months, I have a new hair stylist (in which I have been searching for ever since I moved to Utah). Thanks ever so much David, it will be well worth the trip. After the haircut and style, last was that Landon helped me set something up on my phone, by using the internet and a database system/package, so I can do some work on my phone to earn extra money. I hope I can do well in earning/or bringing in money into mine and Frank’s household. Well as a result all good things must come to an end. After my adventure in Salt Lake City about around 4pm, I had to catch the Front Runner to return home. I almost did not want the day to end, it was almost like a fairy tale ending in a good way, but you would like for it to keep going, I was truly enjoying myself so much. I also felt like my time was short, but it was ling enough to where I should not complain to much. But another way to put how the day ended, I was pretty much on cloud nine.

July 9th, 2011: Her I am on a Saturday somewhat relaxing, but turning around and having to do hunting early in the morning. After I was done with my hunting this morning, I went home and just decided to relax and started some writing.

My birthday week ended on a really happy note. Frank keeps telling me that he has done nothing for my birthday, but he actually did do something for my birthday. He allowed me some time with my friends. So, again I am saying Thank You to those who made my birthday wishes come true.
Frank, Thank you for allowing me, to have the time with my friends, I do appreciate it very much and I love you for letting me have my friends. They are like family to me too.
Mom and Dad McMurdie, Thank you for helping Frank and I, a wonderful birthday dinner, the gift money and card and most of all; Thank you for being such wonderful parents.

Anna, even though I only was able to see you for a short time, Thank you for the card, lunch and treating me to a hair cut. Landon, Thank you for the same, for lunch and the hair cut, and most of all Thank you for showing me how to use the internet over the phone that pertains to use for a good purpose.

David A. Boyd, (using last name, because I have two other friends and a brother-in-law named David.), Thank you for a wonderful hair cut and style. Now not only do I have a new best friend, I also have a new hair stylist. I will continue to come to you all the time.

Last, I want to Thank all of my other friends and family who sent out birthday wishes on FB to my profile, I appreciate that you were thinking of me. Also, thank you, Marie and Suzanne, my two sisters for calling me on my birthday, I enjoyed talking to you ever so much, I miss the both of you. To end and even though I might have done some begging; and my birthday wishes happen before, on, or after my birthday it was well worth it.

Oh, one final touch and this is where I mention at the beginning that I felt like that something was not ending yet. Well my younger sister Leona and my mother sent me some birthday gifts, they were late, but I received some puzzles books, pot holders, and handmade scissors holder. Thank you Leona and Mom, and I know I mention to two people, that I would like to receive flowers from my husband Frank for my birthday; well better late than never, Frank bought me a bouquet of Daisy’s. Thank you Frank, I love them Daisy’s are my favorite flowers.

Well, now it is finally over, my birthday week and month has come to an end, I don’t think anymore surprises are going to be happening for the next few days. Sorry this was long, but things like this you cannot keep to yourself.

Love,
Sara M. M.

A Letter to my Friends and Family on FB

My dearest friends and family,

I have been trying to figure out which way to send this letter out to you. I had thought of sending this letter just to my closest friends on FaceBook (FB) individually or post this on my blog and share it on FB for my friends and family to read. I decided to post on my blog and for those who know me well enough and are interested in reading this post, this will explain why I have been a little bit distant and depressed for a while.

To start and to let everyone know I had no intention and was not trying to be mean to you at all. I wasn't even trying not to ignore you at all. But in short or long, my husband (Frank) was let go from his job, back in April. We have been struggling with money finances ever since than. It now has been 3 months since Frank was let go. During those three months, Frank has been looking ro another job, but there has been no luck at all. Frank has been getting the interviews, but still no hire/job. Money here at home is starting to run tightwith us. Frank is getting unemployment, but it is not enough to keep us fed or to pay rent. We just barely made rent this month, by turning to certain family members for help. We are also turning to our Bishop in our ward for help with other resources, such as food, some help with bills and whatever else we are lacking. Both Frank and I are looking for jobs, Frank is looking more harder than I am, but I too am looking. I hope that something does come through for noe of us, but more for Frank.

As for me, I'm kind-of hoping that I don't get a job because I do not want to go back to work. I would like to do something else and one of the reasons why I don't want to go back to work, mainly there are a few times I don't get enough help with my housework and I cannot afford to pay anyone to help me at all. Another reason, for not going back to work, ever since my surgery, having my gallbladder and 20% of my pancreaus removed in 2008, I was given 6 months to recover. During that time of recovery, I ended up getting comfortable staying home, so I continued to stay home for the past 3 years. I like staying home and I enjoy it so much, not to mention that Frank and I are a bit old-fashioned that the male should work and the Female should stay home. Also, Frank does not force me to go back to work unless I want to work. While staying at home, I like cleaning my apartment at my own pace. I also, like to cook home-made meals, working on projects that are passed do/due and starting new projects to give as gifts for Birthdays and Christmas time. I even like when time is allowed to catch up on my reading. Another reason why I like to stay home is more for health reasons, because of my surgery and after my surgery, my body has slowed down quite a bit and with me being a diabetic, taking insulin and other medications does not always help much.

So, that is the reason why I have been distant and depressed. When money runs tight with Frank and I, I do have a way of shutting people out for awhile. I do have some friends to talk to and than some I can't talk to about this. The friends I really would like to talk to, lives in a different state and sometimes it is hard to talk to them. I sometimes wish they lived closer to me. Another friend that I have to talk to, does listen to me, and I try not to dump my problems on this friend, but I slip and let things out that I shouldn't let out. Although, he has been helping us out and giving us some leads that is helpful for us to find jobs and anything else that would help Frank and I out. I am very grateful for this friend here in Utah and for the help that is provided.

On another note and this can be a cry out, but I don't care and it is somewhat a bit of good news. Before I get too deep into my cry out, I do have the right to cry, especially when something special comes up. Maybe I also have the right to beg and plea. Next week is my birthday, July 7th, I made a birthday wish, because I figured that My Christmas wish last year didn't come true, so I was hoping that my birthday wish might or should come true. The Birthday wish that I made was on or after my birthday that I ge a small little party and to spend one whole day with two friends and Frank. I want no gifts, just to spend time with my two friends and Frank. Well, it has been known to me that my birthday wish is not going to happen at all. Now that I know that I won't get my birthday wish, I don't feel like celebrating my birthday at all. I am also not looking forward to my birthday and now my new wish is that, I wish I could skip my birthday and not turn a year older atl all.

Well, I have done enough for now and I do hope that most of my friends and family on FB can

forgive me for not saying anything sooner and for being distant. It is hard when there is no money coming in at all. Also, sorry for this being long, but than again that is why I have this blog, to let out my feelings and frustrations.

Love Your Friend and Family,

Sara M. M.

Trying to keep up with postings!!

I guess after a few months, when you don't keep up with your blog or doing any postings on your blog; there are times that the blog will kick you out and you have to reset another password up. I think for me not keeping up with my blog, is mainly, I have not had any inspiration to do any postings at all. Part of it is my fault, but than again, there are times that when I don't get answers from any of my friends, I just don't have the will to do any postings on my blog at all. I can understand for the friends that I have out of state or lives in different states may not respond to me at all or responds very little, but my friends who live in the same state, will not send me a message on their own or respond back to my messages that I send out to them. I get tired of starting some things myself. Take for example; when it comes to chatting with a friend on FB I usually start the chat myself; I always have to instigated myself and when I do, I get no response back. I get the same thing when I send out messages to certain people on FB. I would send a message out to someone and again no response back at all or I have to beg for them to send me a message back. Another example; I try to invite friends here in the State of Utah, to certain events ahead of time and no response back if they want to go to the event or not. By the time I find out of my friends want to go to events here in Utah, it is at the last day or minute and I here, that they have other plans, when I did ask first and ahead of time. Maybe that might be a reason for not having any inspiration not to post anything on my blog. I am tired of getting no response from any of my friends. The link to my blog is automatically posted when I do postings on my blog, yet everyone "says send me the link to the blog" when the link is already there. When I post this to FB the link is there, just click on the link and it will take you to all of my postings. If for some reason that you cannot make a comment, than make a comment on FB under my profile. You can make a comment two ways now, on FB or under my postings of my blog.

To end, I know this might be a complaint or a cry, but I have every reason to complain and cry. I get tired of being ignored and tired of begging for answers and for someone to send me messages or chat with me on FaceBook on their own. I thought that FaceBook was all about not just playing games and have game neighbors, I thought it was about getting back in touch with friends, staying in touch with friends, and meeting new friends. That is one of the reasons why I want to delete my FaceBook account. I try my best to stay in touch with my friends, especially the friends I have here in Utah, but they don't want to speak to me at all. Again, I have the right to complain and do a little crying. If there is anyone who understands where I am coming from than please tell me; or give me some ideas on how I should start getting inspired to write something more than just complaints and crying. My friends do inspire me, but when I don't here from them as often as I should, I am not inspired at all.

Well, it is Memorial weekend and I wish I had my friends to celebrate the weekend with Frank and I, but unfortnately, it looks like it will just be the two of us. Have a wonderful Memorial Weekend to all of my friends in and out of State.

Love Your Friend and Always,

Sara Marie McMurdie (Sara M. M.)

Thanksgiving this Thursday!!

I know that noone has seen this picture before. I decided to use this picture, mainly because I feel that the picture says a lot and it helps to actually wish every one a Happy Thanksgiving. Everyone has been real Thankful for the many things that they have. I know everybody has been Thankful for their family, husbands, wives, getting through the day and even more Thankful to be alive. But I think that the most that we should be Thankful for is having the support of our friends and what some don't have as of right now and we should definately be Thankful for this, is that, we have money coming into our households, that helps us to have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our stomachs. The reason why I say this, there are some who don't have that. Some out there are homeless, children who are in foster homes that don't have a family at all. So, we definately should be Thankful for what we do have. As the days will go by, I have been working on some writings of a few poems and I will post them on my blog, so everyone can read them. The Christmas season is coming up and I think that what I have been working on would be most approiate for the holidays. It will come up soon. How soon, can not say, but it will be soon.

In the meantime, this Thursday not only marks Thanksgiving day, it also marks another special day for someone in my family on my side. This Thursday is also my Mom's Birthday (Anita Marie Calkins.) I know sometimes I have a few tiffs with her, but she is a special Mom to me. I was going to go see her not only for Thanksgiving, but for her birthday just as well. But money finances had to stop us from going. I know she does not get the internet and can not access to have some read this blog for her, but I want my Mom to know that I love her very much and I am very Thankful that she is my Mom.

One more thing before I close for the week, I do hope that this message will carry on through Thanksgiving. I am very Thankful for all of my friends that I have, the one's who I have reconnected with and the one's who I stay in touch with more often than others. I try to get all of my friends and family and try to spout off messages, but if I don't, just know that I am always thinking of you and I appreciate the fact that you are my friends. I love all of you with all my heart.

To all of my friends and family; Have a wonderful, safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

Love always,

Sara Marie McMurdie

Holiday projects day 3

Here is story that is something to be Thankful for and this true. I thought I should share this story with you. On Thursday (11/4/10) around between 7:00 am-8:00 am my husband Frank was on his way home from work. He was driving just fine on Legacy Highway and part of I-15. Well, on I-15 around the Kaysville exit, Frank started having problems with the car. We have two cars and the one that he was having problems with was the 2003 Chevy Cavalier. Anyways, what was happening with the car it was starting to slow down and than finally just stopped all together. As Frank started getting a hold of family for help, he was stuck on I-15 for a while trying to get the car restarted, no go at all. Frank called me first, after I spoke with Frank, I started calling my insurance to see if a tow was covered. It was coverd, but we had to pay first and than later get reimbursed back for the tow. Well, Frank called his mom and naturally Mom McMurdie called a tow through her auto insurance and because of it, there was no cost for the tow truck. The Cavalier was taken to one of the mechanic shops to find out what the problem was. We found out that the fuel pump went out. Because of the cost of the fuel pump and labor, Frank and I do not have the money to pay for it. As you can see where this is going. Mom and Dad McMurdie is helping us out and paying for the cost of the fuel pump and labor. Naturally, not all at once we are going to be paying his parents back for this help, mostly in payments each month.

So, as a result, I am very Thankful for Mom and Dad McMurdie coming to our rescue again and helping us out when it is needed. Their are times that we don't see eye to eye, but I am very Thankful that they are around when we really need them. Mom and Dad McMurdie thank you for the help, Frank and I do appreaciate very much.

Love,
Sara M. M.